Have you ever received a save-the-date in the mail and wondered if your whole family was invited, or if it was just for you? Addressing save-the-dates correctly can be a surprisingly tricky part of wedding planning, but it’s crucial for setting the right tone and managing expectations. Sending out properly addressed save-the-dates not only avoids confusion about who’s invited, but also demonstrates respect for your guests and ensures accurate RSVP tracking later on. Getting it right from the start can prevent awkward conversations and last-minute changes, allowing you to focus on other important details.
The way you address your save-the-dates speaks volumes. It sets the stage for the formality of your wedding, clarifies who is included in the invitation, and makes a positive first impression. Thoughtful addressing minimizes confusion and ensures that your guests feel valued and informed. By considering different family situations, addressing etiquette, and the specific needs of your guest list, you can ensure that your save-the-dates are both informative and elegant, building anticipation for your special day.
What Names Do I Use on Save-The-Dates?
How do I address save the dates to unmarried couples living together?
The most straightforward and universally accepted way to address save the dates to an unmarried couple living together is to list both of their names on the envelope. Etiquette dictates using full names, ideally on separate lines, starting with the person you are closest to or whose name comes first alphabetically. For example: Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith, or Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe.
While addressing the envelope with both names is the standard approach, you can also consider your relationship with the couple. If you know both individuals equally well, alphabetical order is a perfectly acceptable and neutral choice. If you’re closer to one partner, listing their name first can be a subtle, yet thoughtful, gesture. Avoid using phrasing like “Mr. John Smith and Guest” or “Mr. John Smith and Partner.” These options are less personal and can feel dismissive, especially considering they are living together. Using both full names demonstrates respect for their relationship and ensures both individuals feel equally acknowledged as invited guests. Remember to use the same format (formal or informal) that you are planning to use for the wedding invitations themselves. Consistency creates a polished and considered impression.
What’s the proper etiquette for addressing save the dates to families with children?
The most common and widely accepted etiquette is to include the names of all members of the family on the save the date, including children. This makes it clear that the entire family is invited and avoids any confusion or hurt feelings. Addressing it specifically ensures everyone feels welcome and anticipated at your event.
While including everyone’s names is preferred, you can tailor the addressing based on the formality of your wedding and your relationship with the family. For a more formal event, you would write out the full names of both parents and each child (e.g., Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith, Emily and Michael). For a less formal event, you can use “The Smith Family” after the parents’ names (e.g., Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith and Family). This is especially useful if the family has many children or if you are trying to save space on the envelope.
It’s important to note that if children are not invited, this should be clearly communicated separately from the save the date, typically through wording on the formal invitation itself. Never omit children’s names from the save the date with the intention of excluding them without direct communication. This can cause significant misunderstandings and offense. The save the date should only be sent to families where all members, including children, are welcome to celebrate with you.
Should I include titles (Mr., Ms., Dr.) on save the date envelopes?
Generally, yes, it is best practice to include titles (Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.) on save the date envelopes, as it demonstrates respect and formality, setting the tone for the wedding. However, the level of formality should align with the overall style of your wedding.
For a more formal wedding, using titles is essential. Address each guest or couple with their appropriate title and last name (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Dr. Jane Doe). This is especially important for older relatives, professionals, or anyone you know prefers to be addressed formally. Omitting titles in such cases can be perceived as disrespectful. If you are unsure of a guest’s preferred title or gender pronouns, err on the side of caution and use their full name without a title, or politely ask them for clarification.
However, for a casual or modern wedding, you have more flexibility. If your wedding has a relaxed and informal vibe, you can choose to forgo titles and use first and last names only. Consider your relationship with your guests as well. If you’re close to most of your invitees and primarily use first names, omitting titles might feel more natural. Just ensure consistency throughout your save the date addressing. A mix of formal and informal addressing can appear sloppy.
How do I address save the dates for plus ones who I don’t know the name of?
The most appropriate way to address a save the date when you don’t know the plus one’s name is to use “[Guest’s Name] and Guest.” This is polite and acknowledges the invitation extends to an unnamed individual.
While “[Guest’s Name] and Guest” is standard, you might consider alternatives if you have some information, however limited. For instance, if you know the plus one is a partner, you could tentatively use “[Guest’s Name] and Partner” or “[Guest’s Name] and Significant Other.” However, “Guest” remains the safest and most universally acceptable option when you lack definitive information. Avoid informal or potentially embarrassing terms like “[Guest’s Name] and Date” or “[Guest’s Name] and Friend”.
Ideally, try to find out the guest’s partner’s name before sending out your save the dates. Casually ask your guest. This adds a personal touch and makes the plus one feel more welcome. However, if you can’t obtain the name, don’t stress; using “Guest” is perfectly acceptable etiquette. Just make sure to get the name before sending out the formal wedding invitation!
What if I only have a first name for one member of a couple?
If you only know the first name of one member of a couple, and are unable to find out the other’s name, the most polite option is to address the save the date as “First Name Last Name and Guest.” This ensures both individuals feel welcomed, even without knowing the second person’s name.
Using “and Guest” is a standard practice when you lack complete information. It’s generally preferred over omitting the person altogether or making assumptions about their name or relationship status. While some may consider it less personal than knowing both names, it’s far more respectful than using an incorrect name or leaving the invitee feeling excluded. It also signals that the unnamed partner is welcome to attend.
If you are close to the person whose full name you *do* know, consider reaching out discreetly to confirm their partner’s name. A quick, casual message like, “Hey, just finalizing the save-the-dates! What’s your partner’s full name so I can address it properly?” can solve the problem without causing offense. If this isn’t possible, stick with “First Name Last Name and Guest.” On the actual wedding invitation, make an extra effort to learn the guest’s name, as the save-the-date is less formal than the invitation.
Is it okay to abbreviate street names or states on save the dates?
Generally, it’s best to avoid abbreviations for street names and states on save the dates. While it might seem like a minor detail, using full, unabbreviated names contributes to a more polished and formal aesthetic, setting a sophisticated tone for your upcoming wedding.
Think of your save the dates as a first impression. You want them to convey elegance and care. While informal communication like text messages or quick emails often employs abbreviations, wedding stationery deserves a more refined approach. Using “Street” instead of “St.” or “California” instead of “CA” signals attention to detail. It also minimizes any potential confusion, especially for guests who might not be familiar with common abbreviations. Clarity is key, ensuring everyone knows where the wedding will eventually be held. If your venue name already includes an abbreviation, such as “123 Main St. LLC”, it would be an exception to this rule and you can feel free to use the abbreviated venue name.
However, there can be exceptions, especially when space is extremely limited on your save the date design. If your design looks cramped with the full words, consider carefully choosing which abbreviations to use. Stick to common and widely understood abbreviations like “Ave,” “Blvd,” and “Rd.” Always prioritize readability; if an abbreviation looks awkward or unclear, opt for the full spelling. Ultimately, striking a balance between formality and practicality is key.
How formal or informal should the addressing be for save the dates?
The formality of addressing save the dates should generally mirror the overall tone and formality of your wedding. A formal wedding calls for formal addressing, while a casual wedding allows for a more relaxed approach. Consider your relationship with the guests as well; closer friends and family can be addressed more informally than distant relatives or professional acquaintances.
For a formal wedding, use full names and titles (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). Proper etiquette dictates spelling out everything, including street names and states (e.g., Avenue instead of Ave., California instead of CA). Inner envelopes, if used, can be slightly less formal, but the outer envelope sets the first impression. Remember, consistency is key. If you’re using formal addressing, maintain it throughout your guest list, regardless of your personal relationship with each individual.
If your wedding is more casual, feel free to use first names and last names, or even just first names for close friends and family (e.g., John and Jane Smith or John and Jane). Abbreviations are acceptable in casual addressing. Consider the design of your save the dates as well. A modern, minimalist design can lend itself to a more informal style, while a traditional, elegant design pairs well with formal addressing.
And that’s a wrap on addressing save-the-dates! Hopefully, this has taken some of the stress out of the process. Thanks for reading, and be sure to check back soon for more wedding etiquette tips and tricks to help you navigate all those exciting pre-wedding tasks with confidence and maybe even a little bit of fun!